Let your wedding day be the happiest day in your life. That is, with a little pre planning; well, maybe not exactly a little. To make your wedding day and the days before and after happy and carefree, you’ll first have to work to make it so.
With your proposal of marriage and dreams of the future, your emotions are on cloud nine. Emotions take over reason. It’s a good feeling and keep it going as long as possible and savor every minute. When it comes to planning your wedding day, come off cloud nine and firmly plant your feet on the ground.
When you deal with all the service providers to make your wedding carefree and happy, you must deal with them on a factual basis. Some are hoping you contract their services based on emotions rather than logic. Doing this is a big mistake for you. Some are out there looking to take advantage of the situation to line their pockets. Most service providers are honest, hard working and try to go the extra mile to help people, just like you. Occasionally you do have to watch out for those charming-smooth talkers who can charm the spots off a leopard. Because you want quality products and service for your hard earned money, and because I believe an educated client is the best client to work for while going the extra mile, I’m passing on what I’ve learned to you and hopefully you’ll decide to use my services as a videographer.
The Jeweler
Oh, how you can be taken to the cleaners here. They play on emotions. Having been a commercial photographer for twenty years, I’ve shot my share of diamond wedding rings. Once I remember shooting three pages of sixty rings and somehow a half carat diamond fell out of its setting and was lost. I thought to myself, there goes a client, my profit and may be more. When I returned the rings, the client said, “Don’t worry about it. Diamonds don’t cost us that much.” Another incident with jewelers I had was when my ex-girlfriend took me to very posh jewelry store in the Loop. She wanted a pair of diamond earrings. The pair she was looking at had eight quarter carat diamonds set in two one inch by quarter inch gold bars. Price, four thousand dollars. I told the sales clerk I thought they were worth only four to six hundred dollars. The clerk said with a smile, “Oh, no.” Then a voice from behind me said, “You’re about right.” It was my jewelry client. Another bit of advice I received from him was that investment grade diamonds should not be smaller than five carats. Remember, diamonds are a jeweler’s best friend; not a girls. Markups vary tremendously by cut, color, weight, style and profit.
When buying a diamond ring, find a jeweler who adheres to the Gemological Institute of American standards (GIA) or the American Gem Society (AGS). Have an agreement to have it appraised by either a Certified Gemologist or better yet, a Master Gemologist before you finalize the sale. Note: To tell if a (loose) diamond is real or not at the jewelry store, place the diamond’s Table, large flat surface, on newsprint and see if you can read through it. If you can, it is a fake. When you bring diamond jewerly in for a cleaning, never let it out of your sight. Some jewelers switch real diamonds with fakes.
For your wedding you should wear some jewelry; it completes the finished look in your pictures.
The Bridal Registries
If they do not have a written policy to hand out backing up their claims, they can say anything and claim later you misconstrued their claims. For example, you find a china place setting you’d like to have. The store display shows seven pieces and quotes you a price. You like the price and place it on your list. Later you find out, or your guests do, the place setting only consists of five pieces for the price or they’re charged full manufacture’s suggested retail price (MSRP). Everything else is a-la-carte. Or they say you can buy a place setting for a special sale price of forty percent off MSRP. They don’t tell you their everyday price is lower. If you’re not paying attention, they can stick it to you. Sometimes sale prices are higher than everyday prices. Many times the store doesn’t stock the china, but has to order it from the manufacture which may take four to six weeks for delivery. Also many items may not be found by your guests; out-of-stock. Don’t bother asking the sales clerk, they usually don’t know when anything comes in. If your are planning to buy china, a better alternative is to take the money you receive, go to an outlet store and buy it for half the price you’d be charged in a department store.
When you go to register at a department store, avoid Saturdays and Sundays; go in the evening or when the store first opens up; first call ahead to find out when the person will be in to help you. Don’t forget, your guests can buy you gift certificates. It makes it easier on them and then you can have the fun of shopping for true sales. If you’re going to be moving into a new house, don’t forget to register at appliance and hardware stores—lawn mower, tools, etc..
Bridal Shops
Do not buy a dress without a manufacturer’s label. Removing a label is against FTC law. There are many horror stories about bridal shops and the dress the bride never received or their money back. Some stores do not allow the bride to take notes for comparison shopping. Many shops can not guarantee a delivery date because the manufacture is in control of that. You’d be better off buying a dress off the rack if you’re in a rush. Remember the veil is separate from the headpiece. It is also a profitable item for the store and is a rip off for the bride. Make it yourself and Velcro tape it to the headpiece. For your undergarments, remember you’re going to be wearing them for hours and dancing in them; make sure they’re comfortable. As you may well know, slips are a rip-off at bridal shops. Something else to be aware of in bridal shops is the size of the dress you buy. Some stores order gowns that are not the correct size; thereby forcing you to have expensive in store alterations. If alterations have to be made, contact an outside seamstress.
If you’re looking for a different ideal for the type of gown to wear, consider renting or buying from a costume house a vintage gown. Or in large cities, there may be one store that specializes in buying and selling old gowns. You just might be able to spend only a few hundred dollars and find a smashing gown that would cost thousands to make new; and look at all the fun you’ll have treasure hunting.
Shoes
Get the most comfortable you can find; you’ll be in them for at least twelve hours. Some brides change to tennis shoes after the formal dances.
Miscellaneous Accessories
Items like the ring pillow, flower girl basket, guest book etc. can add up very fast in bridal shops and are expensive there; just as are the toasting glasses. You can save money on your invitations through a mail order house and you can use thermography instead of engraved invitations.
Limousine Service
In big cities, it’s fashionable to use a limousine service. Finding a dependable one may take a little time. First, ask your friends who they used and recommend; also for those who they did not choose. Ask your videographer or look in the yellow pages for ones specializing in weddings. Most companies have their own Lincoln’s and Cadillac’s, and broker Rolls or Excalibur’s. If you want the latter, find the individuals who own them; you’ll avoid a broker’s commission. One of the biggest complaints about limousine services is the same as airlines—they over book, use subcontractors so they have no control if the car(s) will show up on time or what condition they will be in. To avoid this problem you must visit the companies and ask to see the car(s) you’ll be using. If you can, get the owner to be your driver. Get the following in writing: the car(s) that will be used (identify it some way; plate number), time it must be somewhere, amount for overtime charges, who the driver will be and what type of adjustment will be made if you do not receive what you ordered. It is very important to see the condition of the car you’ll be using so you’re not shocked when it arrives. One time a couple rented a 1938 Rolls to take them from the church to the reception hall. They never got there in the Rolls, instead they arrived in my suburban, the Rolls wouldn’t start after everyone left the church, just kept backfiring. Oh yes, ask if you can bring your own champagne or specify one you like. You don’t want a surprise when you make your toast after the ceremony with something you’d rather not be drinking. But the best tip is, hire a mini airport bus; it’s roomy, people can stand up and move around.
The Florist
As soon as you decide to get married, start looking for a florist. They’re only 104 days for weddings (normally) and good florists get booked up fast and can only do so many weddings during the busy season. Ask your friends for suggestions. Schedule your visits to the various shops for early Saturday mornings to see other people’s wedding flowers being made up. Ask to see their portfolio of previous wedding arrangements and if they’re familiar with your church and reception hall. One place where florists mislead brides is showing them a sample centerpiece that has more flowers than they actually deliver. Remember, the more flowers in a piece the better it looks, not greenery and baby’s breath. If you want to keep the flowers for several years, use silk flowers.
When choosing a florist make sure they have their own trucks to deliver your flowers; if they don’t you may not get your flowers on time. If you can get your florist to agree to it, you can save some money by having your reception centerpiece be placed on the altar and then brought to the reception hall after the ceremony.
If you do not have a written contract you may be nickel-and-dimed to death, charged for delivery, not receive everything you ordered or late deliveries because of verbal implies. I’ve been to more than one wedding which the bride was sweating the delivery of flowers to her home only to receive them as they were leaving for the church and once when the groom had to cancel the flowers for the church because the ceremony was about to start and the church was not decorated.
DJ or Band
Cost and performance are your two main considerations. If you do not hire a good DJ or Band, your reception will be a bust. I’ve seen it happen a few times; once the DJ had laryngitis and couldn’t talk; another time a DJ played all the wrong songs and nobody danced and still another time the DJ had no idea what or when anything was going to happen.
To avoid problems like the above, get suggestions from friends and shop around. DJ’s do cost less than Bands, so you can save a bundle of money. When you start looking for a DJ, try to find one that does corporate affairs. They will be the ones with the most equipment and savvy to overcome any glitches that may arise at the reception. They’ll do a simple sound check for the room’s acoustics before they start and have a good sound system like JBL or Electrovoice. They’ll also use a wireless headset so they can roam around the dance floor once in a while drumming up excitement and it will cause less feedback. They will have a large selection of CD’s (400-500+) so you can choose which songs you’d like played and requests from your guests. Average number of songs played are about 60 to 70. Also they will work with the caterer and be responsible for knowing when to start the cake cutting, the first dance, the tosses and any other surprises that may occur.
If you can’t get a good recommendation from a friend, ask the reception hall who they would recommend. When you visit the DJ’s office, ask to see if they have any videos to view, or better yet, ask if you can ‘drop in’ on one of their weddings. Get several dates and just pick one at random without their knowing which one.
Remember, the DJ is there to get your guests motivated to get up and dance and enjoy themselves.
Basically the same thing holds true for Bands too. With a band you have to pay special attention to the singer. If you don’t like the singer, chances are your guests won’t either.
You can save yourself some money by deleting that part of the band’s contract stating a meal be furnished for them. Band members, unlike photographers and videographers who are with you all day, are usually with you for four hours and don’t start until after dinner. They can eat before they come to work.
Whether you choose a DJ or Band, check out their lighting equipment too. If they don’t do corporate affairs chances are they have limited equipment. Note: Have consideration for your elder guests; the volume of some DJ’s and Bands are at decibels that are beyond ....
Reception Halls
If you want to really please your guests, serve them a good meal. Choosing a hall can be difficult, they all have their good points and bad points. A lot has to do with how elaborate you want your surroundings to be. Then comes how good is their food. Finally, cost.
Having shot in some of the most exclusive hotels and halls which are very prestigious in nature, some of their food leaves something to be wanting. Some of the best tasting food comes from smaller less prestigious hotels and halls. What you should do is to sample a meal from at least three halls you’re considering and then decide on if you can afford it; chances are they will work with you by trimming something off the menu so you can. Probably the most common meal involves chicken and filet mignon. Because of problems with contracting a disease from under cooked food, specify you want your food well done. Some places serve filet mignon like my cowgirl neighbor did in college; throw a piece of meat in a red hot frying pan, flip it and serve it, just that fast.
An important item to consider is the maître d’hôtel, wedding consultant, manager or owner. They will be the ones who will guide you, the DJ, photographer and staff; they will keep them on their toes so you have a carefree evening. Some, especially the owners, are like mother hens, others, except at most prestigious hotels, are adequate to good. This person must have good communication lines between the various service providers to coordinate the event.
For example, at one prestigious wedding the photographer and myself were told we could go to our private room, one hallway removed from the reception where we couldn’t see or hear anything and start our meal. Needless to say there was a communication problem; the Bride and Groom had their first dance and the father daughter dance and it was not recorded. Which brings up another problem. You should always have the photographer and videographer have their meals in the same room as you do otherwise they will miss an important event. Also, for the few extra bucks it will cost, let them have the same type of meal you’re having. Because some people, have a attitude towards photographers, videographers and DJ’s and consider them only servants, which we are and we are trying to do the best job we can to please everyone, they place us in a room off to the side without the brides or grooms knowledge and serve sandwiches, which is okay, but by doing so we may miss something that should be recorded by not being in the same room as you.
Also you should consider having a sweet table. Some halls put on a marvelous display while others just put on a nice display. Ask to see pictures of their table setups and find out how many different varies and quantity of sweets they include in the price. A really good sweet table should have 200 different varieties to choose from with a generous portions from each selection.
Some reception halls have a list of service vendors they recommend. If you use this list, be forewarned the vendors may not provide the best service, be inexpensive or suit your needs. Some vendors may even ‘buy’ their name to a list. Find out how the vendor made the recommended list.
Cakes
You can save yourself some money by having a smaller ‘show’ cake than the number of invited guests; usually about 50% to 75% smaller. To serve all your guests, have the baker make up an identical pan cake. Once the cake is taken away for cutting and is served or packaged, the guests won’t know it’s not from the ‘show’ cake.
Photo & Video
Most studios hire part-time shooters; a few have someone on staff full-time. Prices and quality varies greatly from studio to studio and especially from individual shooters. Always meet with the shooter and see ‘their’ samples of work and find out what type of equipment they shoot with. Make sure they use either newer Nikon or Canon top of the line cameras, with Nikkor and Canon L series lenses for the best quality images. For a ‘Creative Eye’ and quality workmanship, expect to pay more. Editing video takes about 30 to 40+ hours. Best video tape: 1/2 inch S-VHS H471S Fuji. Best film: Kodak VPS III, Fuji Realia or Agfa Portrait.
When it comes to video cameras go with the best; either a Panasonic AG-DVC200, JVC GYDV-500 or Sony DSR 300AL. (Different model numbers will produce different results, i.e., JVC X3BU gives poorer quality results than the X2BU). Super or High 8 cameras or other S-VHS cameras just do not give the quality you deserve. Make sure the video tape you receive as the finished tape containing your memories is Fuji S-VHS H471S.
Find out how your photographer or videographer shoots. Do they try to control everything? (bad) Are they laid back giving very little direction? (good) Are they arrogant? (bad) Because every wedding is unique, are they flexible? (good) Hiring the right person does make a big difference. Unless you choose wisely, your wedding video could be a haunting disappointment! There are no retakes in a live event. It must be done right the first time. Please work with the videographer when they take your picture. Once I had a B/G who acted like spoiled brats. Neither wanted video, but the bride’s mother hired me. During the wedding and reception, the groom refused to wear a mic to record their vows and they turned their backs to me when I wanted to shoot them. When they viewed the finished tape, they realized how important it is to work with the videographer.
The viewing quality of demo and your wedding tape may vary greatly when you see it on your equipment; especially if equipment is more than three years old. VCR’s and TV’s play a very important part in the viewing quality of tapes.
Contracts
For every service provider you hire, you MUST have a written contract. If you have to go to court, the first thing the judge is going to ask you for is a copy of your contract.
The contract should state clearly exactly what you and the service provider agreed to. I.e., times, sizes, locations, delivery charges, overtime charges, quantities, guaranteed delivery time, fees, color, any changes and how they will be handled with or without your approval, model, names of people performing services, type of equipment, number of hours employed, etc..
If it ain’t in writing, WALK.
How may I serve you? jollyjim@flash.net